Responsible

It's not easy being responsible…

It takes a lot of planning, making sure the plans are set and following through, following up on people, reminding people and RSVP-ing (is that how it's written?) and preparing, going out and purchasing necessary things in preparation.

Why do all of this?

You do this so that you don't have to scramble to do things last minute.  You do this so appointments are not missed.  You want to avoid conflicts in schedules.  You want to make sure people arrive on time to be ABLE to surprise the honoree of a surprise party. The bottom line is you don't want to waste your money and (more importantly) your TIME, of which (you are well aware of) can never be recovered or replenished.

"No Pain, No Gain!"

My fellow responsible friend, along with the benefits and "security" of being in a controlled (or, having control of) situation comes a couple of issues…

Issue 1: People expect too much of you.  You can't slip up…

 …and if you do they get immediately disappointed and your stock?  It PLUMMETS!

Issue 2: Your being extra responsible allows your friends to be even less responsible because they know that you are going to have their back.  You are their "crutch".  Their responsibility "muscles" are never fully developed, because they have not borne any "weight".

Two scenarios:

One. A friend of mine who is always late and never follows up just canceled with a few friends of mine for an event that we had after the event was over.  He let us know that he wasn't going to be able to make it because he had previous plans.

Two: A friend of mine got upset with me because I didn't let her know that circumstances had changed while I was still dealing with the circumstances which calls the circumstances to change.  ( Confusing, isn't it?)

Sometimes, this is very taxing; there is a limit to what one can take.

Now, don't get me wrong.

I'm not saying that I want to be less responsible or to have less of a burden of responsibility planning and arranging logistics and organizing things and  researching and… and…. and… 

Disclaimer: I am, by no means, perfect, nor do I follow all of these rules all of the time (I'm human, man).

All I'm saying… is that I would like to have a little bit of credit for the cache that I have built up over all these years with some people and some respect from the people who are less reliable and dependable than I am in letting me know when they are not going to make it, when they're running late, conflicts in their schedules, etc.

Too much to ask?  You tell me.

...April Showers bring???

Relationships, Relationships, Relationships.

It's spring time!  The trees are budding, birds are singing, and people everywhere  are starting new relationships.  The worst (and best) part about a relationship is the beginning. That good old ackward "getting to know one another" stage. It's the time when you're feeling each other out; careful to avoid stepping on anyone's toes.  I love and hate it!

I love hearing about another person's likes and dislikes.  Love seeing the myriad of expressions on a lady's face when she tries to convey not just a concept, but the feelings she felt when something happened to her and how it changed her life.  I love the intrigue in trying to find out what makes her tick.  Likes and dislikes...  Views on life...  Aspirations for the future...  All of that is fun and fresh and intriguing.  It leaves me with a smirk and anticipation for tomorrow's adventure.

Downside: PRETENSE.  I, being one who prides himself on his authenticity, do not like to fake as if I am something or someone I'm not.  Consequently, I don't like to be misled.  Oh, I've seen Chris Rock's stand-up on women, men, and lies (If you haven't, here it is.), but, I'm not talking about big lies.  I'm not even talking about small, one-time lies (though, I don't like them, either).  I don't like the small, constant, "if he likes me, he will still like me regardless of this" lies.

What do I mean?  What kinds of lies do they tell?  Hmmm...  There's the "Body Magic" lie.  The weave lie.  The "I'm very spiritual/religious" lie.  And let's not forget the dreaded "I'm a virgin" lie.  (shudder)  That's just the women.  Men tell other kinds of lies.  The good old "I live alone" lie.  The ever-popular "I drive a [insert luxury car here]" lie.  The "my hairline has always been like this" lie.  The "I don't have any kids" lie.  None of them are cool to tell and all have to be supported by other "small" lies.

Some people say they want a person who will accept them as they are, but won't let their prospective mate know who they really are until it's too late.  Those same people say they want to be a better person because of their mate and vice-versa.  How is he/she going to help make you a better person if they completely accept every flaw you have?



Look, I don't profess to know the answer to this relationship thing.  I just get disappointed when I tell the truth and am forthright and STILL get called a liar.  I just think it would be better if we all were a little more honest.  That way, the relationship cycle wouldn't give you that sinking feeling you get when you realize you've been lied to (or you've been found lying), but really like the person and wish this hadn't happened, cause you think he/she may... have... been... "THE ONE".


Think about it.

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Formative Tears...

Ok, I'm kind of new to this, so be kind with your critiques.

I'm laying in bed at 1:30 am, watching The Travel Channel, thinking about my son. Just now, I realize how much I miss him. Wait... that's not accurate. I realize how much of him I'm missing.

My son is almost seven years old; the preverbial "age of reason," and I see him three days out of a week, on average. Be that as it may, when I'm sitting here alone, thinking of him, it seems like I missed the most important parts of his life.
Anthony Bourdain isn't helping, either!

This episode of "No Reservations" features a bottomless pit of a story about an elderly man's escape from North to South Korea. The man tells of how he escaped, leaving his wife and kid behind, not to see them again for over a year. The story ends in him telling of how his last wish is to return to his homeland and cry his eyes out at his parents' graves.

By the way, I Now, I don't feel like a wimp, because even Mr. Bourdain is left teary-eyed. But, Tony here is on vacation in Korea, not sitting alone in his room thinking about his troubles like I am. (Whew! I ALMOST dropped a tear, there.)
What am I going to do? My son needs me in these, his formative years. I cannot fail him. I won't, GOD Willing.

GOD Bless me.

GOD Bless him.

GOD Bless us all.

Good night... well, morning. (You know what I mean.)


Your Narrator,

Vince Williams

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